


Glass Cage

by orphan_account



Category: Infernal Devices - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, M/M, Onesided Will/Tessa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-19
Updated: 2012-06-19
Packaged: 2017-11-08 02:44:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/438271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will knows he's losing Jem. He's trapped in a glass cage of his own creation, and all he can do is watch the world fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glass Cage

Will wandered, as he was wont to do, through the winding corridors of the Institute. Unlike most would think, however, he wasn't heading for the front door, and the nearest tavern or brothel. Instead, he stopped in front of an all-too familiar door, hearing the sweet melody drifting through the wood. It was a bright, cheerful tune, and it made Will smile; Jem was in a good mood tonight. Not bothering to knock, he slipped inside without a sound, leaning back against the door after closing it behind him, watching the silver-haired teen play. Jem was barefoot, in loose dark trousers and a white shirt that Will had the sneaking suspicion used to belong to him once upon a time. He wasn't sure, he'd lost track exactly what belonged to him, and what belonged to Jem.

"That was beautiful," he murmured when the music stopped, and Jem finally looked up, smiling like he'd known Will was there the whole time. Of course he had; he was Jem. "As always."

"Thank you. Staying in for the night, then?" Jem queried, placing his violin tenderly in its velvet-lined case, setting it upon a shelf. "And do stop lurking, one would think you aren't welcome." Will's lips quirked, and he pushed away from the door, walking over to Jem as the older boy turned back to the bed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, eyes darkening with concern as one hand cupped Jem's cheek, checking the pallor of his silver-tainted eyes. Jem waved him off, but didn't remove his hand.

"I'm fine," he insisted, smiling softly. His hand rested on Will's hip, the warmth seeping pleasantly through his shirt, straight to his skin. "Was there a reason you came tonight, or…?" he trailed off, tone teasing, and Will chuckled, pulling him closer.

"When do I ever need a reason with you?" he murmured, breath hot against Jem's cheek. "Come to bed?" Jem turned his head, finally pressing their lips together, allowing himself to be tugged flush against Will's chest as they kissed languidly. Unsure who was moving what, and which limb belonged to whom, they stumbled to the bed, stripping garments as they walked, always touching. Eventually, they ended up beneath the duvet, wearing nothing but each other. Breaking the kiss to lean over his _parabatai_ , Jem snuffed the lamp on the nightstand, plunging them into near-darkness. Will's eyes glowed in the narrow strip of moonlight shining through the curtains, and Jem felt his breath leave him, as it did every time the dark-haired boy looked at him like that. Like he was the only thing worth seeing in the world.

A muscular arm wrapped around Jem's waist, and he let his arm buckle, falling with a muffled thump onto Will's chest. The blue-eyed teen smirked, tangling their legs, pressing their hips together to make Jem gasp. "You're so beautiful when you're above me," Will whispered, "my sin. My beautiful, wonderful sin." He joined their lips once more, tongues twining in the same dance they had been doing for years. Their bodies melded together perfectly, with a practised ease that came of knowing every inch of your partner better than you knew yourself. Few words were spoken, and the breathy moans that escaped were hushed by kisses – they never knew when Sophie would decide to do some of her late-night cleaning in the hall outside – but the embrace was no less intimate in the silence. Will let himself go, lost himself in everything that was Jem, the way he could only do when with his silver beauty. Breath coming in harsh pants, Jem collapsed contentedly on Will's chest, ignoring the stickiness between them. They shifted to get more comfortable, Jem's head resting over Will's heart, Will's hand stroking gently through pale hair.

"I do adore you," Jem murmured, making Will smile to himself.

"And I you, my James," he breathed in reply. There was a long silence, before Jem's hand drifted up Will's stomach, tweaking a nipple lightly.

"When are we going to talk about the elephant in the room, William?" He couldn't help but love the way his name rolled off the other boy's lips, even as his own curled into the slightest frown.

"Do we have to? I was in such a pleasant mood, and you know how rare that is," he retorted impishly. Jem laughed, but didn't let it deter him.

"I know how you feel for Tessa," he declared quietly, still stroking the fine smattering of hairs covering Will's chest. There was no accusation in his tone, no hurt, and yet Will couldn't help but wince at the words being spoken so plainly.

"What I feel for her pales in comparison to my feelings for you, surely you know that," he cut in, dropping a kiss to Jem's hair.

"Naturally," Jem agreed, having never doubted the matter. "But still… you must know."

"You have an affection for her, also," Will finished for him. "Yes, I had noticed."

"I don't want her to come between us," Jem whispered, pain in his voice. Will held him tighter, shifting them both so they faced each other, legs still tangled, noses touching.

"She will never," he insisted fiercely, determination burning in his eyes. He kissed his lover heatedly, and Jem almost forgot what they had been talking about. "I believe she loves you, you know," Will added conversationally, sounding almost amused.

"She loves you, as well." Will grimaced at his partner's words, shaking his head.

"She mustn't, foolish girl." No one could love him; no one but Jem. None but his perfect sin. "She's better off with you, anyway. You'd love her far better than I would."

"But I can't. And not just because my heart is yours," Jem murmured, eyes darkening. Will growled, pressing his finger to Jem's kiss-swollen lips.

"Don't speak like that," he scolded, intense gaze meeting Jem's. "We'll find a way."

"And what if we do? Poor Tessa will expect at least one of us to do the gentlemanly thing. Then what becomes of us?" Jem's arm wrapped around Will's pack, pulling him ever closer. "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," Will vowed. "We'll carry on in secret, like we do now. We just won't be able to spend the night. Well, not unless that dear woman of yours fancies joining us," he half-joked, wishing he could be serious. Jem smacked him lightly on the arm, though he was smiling.

"Don't be crude," he berated fondly. "And what makes her my woman? She could very well be yours."

"Don't be daft, darling. The world might explode should William Herondale ever marry," Will remarked with a smirk, making Jem laugh.

"Dramatic sod," he muttered, kissing Will chastely. "Wouldn't that be wonderful, though? She loves the both of us, we both feel the same for her, and we love each other. If only there were a way…" Shaking his head, Jem sighed. "Would you be alright with that, though? Tessa and I… stepping together."

"I'll have to be," Will replied easily. "I just want you to be happy, James. Although if you continue to choose her company over mine I shall become terribly upset," he added teasingly, smiling against Jem's jaw. "You're spending all your time with her, you hardly have any left to spend with me."

"You could join us, you know. Kill two birds with one stone and all that," Jem suggested bemusedly, squirming a little as Will's breath tickled the junction of his neck, and the blessedly beautiful mouth trailed down the column of his throat.

"I couldn't, not when you're both getting on so well. Besides, I shan't want to encourage any… affection she might have for me." Jem sighed, tugging Will's lips away from his collarbone, meeting the black-haired boy's eyes.

"One day, William, those walls of yours will come down, and you'll let people in. Until then… I'm happy you let me be an exception." Jem spoke as if he suspected why he was Will's exception, but Will didn't say anything; he never does. Jem mustn't know why he cannot allow anyone to love him.

"I like my walls," he insisted stubbornly, "and you're the only exception I need. My heart can only ever belong to one person, and that person is you."

"And what of my heart?" Jem retorted, lips pursed. "Can it not belong to you and her together?" Will gave a half-smile.

"You were always better at sharing your toys than I."

"Is that what Tessa and I are to you, my love? Toys?" Will's expression grew serious, and he pulled Jem into a fiercely possessive kiss.

"Of course not," he expressed, "Stop being pedantic, or I shan't be your filthy secret lover when you're a respectable member of the married community." Jem stared for several heartbeats, then chuckled, shaking his head in bemusement.

"Is that what we shall become, then? I a married man and you my mistress?" he asked with raised eyebrows. Will winked salaciously at him, rocking their hips together.

"I rather think I suit being your mistress," he teased. "So long as you love me more than you do your wife." Jem didn't hesitate in pressing their lips together, tongue curling quickly around Will's before they parted.

"Always," he promised, eyes fluttering shut. "But, William, when… when I die-"

"When you die, I shall die with you," Will insisted, ignoring the shake of Jem's head. When Jem died, Will had nothing to live for; was it even living, if you were without a heart?

"You can't," Jem argued in a whisper. "You have to live. For me, and for Tessa." Will raised an eyebrow at him.

"Do you expect me to marry your widow after I have lost you, my James?" Jem nodded, expression serious.

"You admit yourself that you love Tessa; won't you let yourself be happy with her, like you never can with me?"

"I'm as happy as I could possibly be with you," Will returned instantly. Jem rolled his eyes, carding his fingers through Will's shaggy hair – it was desperately in need of cutting, he'd have to ask a favour of Sophie – and capturing his lover's lips.

"I won't be here forever, though," he pointed out, hating the huskiness that came to his voice every time he spoke of possibly leaving Will. He wasn't afraid of dying, not after all this time of expecting it, but he was afraid of what might happen to his beautiful, guarded William when he was gone. He didn't want to think on what would happen if Will closed off even more than he already was. The younger teen refused to accept or show love, except to Jem, and one day it was going to kill him. Jem wished he knew why, but after all their time together, Will still wouldn't tell him.

"I don't care," Will retorted, his voice a hoarse whisper. "James, please… I don't mind talk of Tessa, or even talk of marriage, but don't talk of dying, please. I can't stand it when you act like it's inevitable." Refraining from pointing out that it _was_ inevitable, and drawing ever nearer, Jem sighed, settling down into Will's arms.

"Fine. But promise me, my William, if anything happens to me… take care of Tessa. Let yourself love her, and be loved by her, like we both know you deserve. For me," Jem persisted. Will sighed; they both knew that Will could never refuse Jem anything.

"I'll take care of her," he agreed eventually. "Even marry her, if it'll make you happy. But she mustn't love me, and she can never know that I love her." Jem sighed in exasperation, but didn't argue, knowing it was the best he'd get from the stubborn teen. He kissed Will, who clung to him tightly, refusing to break the kiss. "I'll find a cure for you, Jem," he swore vehemently, calling his lover by his nickname for the first time that night. They both preferred using full names in private; as the only two to ever call the other by them, it made things all the more intimate. "I won't lose you."

"As long as you love me, you'll never lose me," Jem assured, pressing a kiss to the skin over Will's heart. Will's arms closed around Jem, tugging him so close their chests pressed together, and Jem's chin rested on the curve of Will's shoulder.

"Then I shall have you forever and a day," he declared, sounding terribly like a small child refusing to give up his favourite toy. Jem smiled against Will's neck, wishing with all his heart that it could be true. He'd never hated his addiction more than he did when he was with Will, reminding him painfully of all the things he could never have. "Tessa will make you happy, my James. Far more than I do. You won't have to keep her hidden from the rest of the world."

"You make me happier than anything, William," Jem insisted firmly. Yes, it would be nice to have a love he could kiss openly without disdain, but he wouldn't trade what he had with Will for that in a million years. Suddenly, Jem yawned, and Will chuckled fondly, kissing Jem's cheek.

"Go to sleep, love. We'll have a busy time in the morning." As much as they wanted to forget about Mortmain and the threat of Charlotte losing the Institute, it was still hanging over their heads like a guillotine.

"It _is_ morning," Jem pointed out, mock-disgruntled. The clock on his nightstand said it was just gone one. Will chuckled, pressing butterfly kisses across Jem's jaw until their lips met.

"I do feel rather sorry for poor Tessa, though," he mused. "The girl must be awfully torn with her feelings for both of us, it'll be eating her inside. Shame we can't tell her that we both know, and we don't care." But he did care; he wished he could love Tessa as freely as Jem seemed to, and he wished she loved neither of them, because any minute she spent with he or Jem was a minute he couldn't spend with his sin. And despite his search for a cure, he wasn't an idiot, and he wanted all the minutes he could get.

"That would involve telling her about us, though," Jem pointed out with a frown. Will shrugged, his smirk returning, eyes glittering mischievously.

"Well, then we might ask if she'd consent to the both of us having our wicked way with her-" Jem cut him off with a firm kiss, trying to look scolding even as a laugh escaped his lips.

"Oh, you're _awful_ ," he murmured in amusement, stroking Will's face lovingly. "Now come on, shift over so I can get comfortable." With only a minimal amount of grumbling, Will shifted obligingly, letting Jem sprawl across his chest, trapping him like an extra blanket. Will would never admit it, but that was his favourite part of spending the night with Jem. While the sex was fantastic, they could do that during the day; it was only at night when Jem's body would cover his own, their hearts beating in unison, the heady scent of sex and sweat and Jem filling his senses, the warmth making him feel the safest he had ever felt, even when he was a child. And he complained about Jem's ridiculous cuddling urges, but both of them knew that were Jem not the one to make the first move, Will would be burrowing under Jem's arm, or grabbing the teen and manhandling him into an appropriate cuddling position.

"I love you," Will murmured, relishing in being able to actually say the words without fear of consequences. Jem smiled a soft, sleepy smile, linking his fingers with Will's, pulling the duvet up over his shoulders with his free hand.

"And I love you as well. Even if you are an insufferable idiot sometimes." Will laughed quietly.

"Yes, but I'm charming," he said smugly. Jem sighed long-sufferingly, even as he gave Will an affectionate squeeze of the shoulder.

"Well, Prince Charming, I don't suppose you could shut up and let me sleep?" he asked evenly, a yawn cutting off his last word. Will grinned, winking.

"Your wish is my command, good sir," he obliged, stroking Jem's hair, watching the silver-haired teen's eyes droop shut. He stayed awake long after Jem's breathing grew even, staring wistfully at his lover. "You don't understand, do you, dear one?" he murmured to the slumbering teen. "I will be nothing when you die. Not even Tessa will change that." Sighing to himself, he carefully moved Jem's arm so he could wrap his own around the older boy, settling down to sleep himself.

And when Tessa told him of her engagement to Jem, after he'd just bared his soul to her, he couldn't help but feel selfishly jealous. Yes, he had agreed to step back and let it happen, but that was before he knew the people who loved him weren't destined to die. The couple had everything he dreamed of; Jem had his Tessa, Tessa had his Jem, his glorious sin, and they were both free to be happy and in love in front of the people who had become their family. And he, Will, was trapped in the persona he had built for himself, full of endless wit and sarcasm and biting remarks, as was expected of him. Pretending to be happy for his _parabatai_ and the girl that – let's face it, everyone knew – he loved, while his nights with Jem grew less and less frequent, and inside his heart was breaking.


End file.
